Mrs. Nili Zivan
Bnei Akiva Shlicha and Ulpana Guidance Counselor
Growing up with learning difficulties, it was sports, Bnei Akiva and other leadership opportunities that provided important incentives for me to continue to try and succeed in school. Activities outside of school were opportunities for me to shine and be successful in something other than academics. Despite many of the messages we hear as young people, we can’t all be great at everything and those who don’t feel as strong in the classroom can find themselves working extra hard in order to be seen as “average.” Now, as a social worker and educator, I’ve learned that our role is to constantly be looking for a healthy balance between what is challenging and what is too hard for our students. Although I’m a strong believer in overcoming obstacles in our youth in order to become stronger and wiser adults, it may be exhausting to continuously fight what feels like an insurmountable battle for success.
Adolescence is a difficult time, especially when young people are expected to learn and perform appropriately on a daily basis. Teachers often see high school age students as “young adults,” even though their brains aren’t fully grown. From an intellectual standpoint, this makes sense because students generally can show intellectual maturity by age 15 or 16. However, their emotional development takes longer to develop. According to an article published in the Harvard Health Mental Health Letter, when adolescents are asked hypothetical questions about a given topic they typically give answers similar to adults. However, when forced to actually make choices, their behaviour is based more on emotions. According to the article,
In real life, adolescents, compared to adults, find it more difficult to interrupt an action under way (stop speeding); to think before acting (learn how deep the water is before you dive); and even to choose between safer and riskier alternatives. It is easy for them to say that they would not get into a car with a drunk driver, but more difficult to turn down the invitation in practice. Adolescents’ judgment can be overwhelmed by the urge for new experiences, thrill-seeking, and sexual and aggressive impulses. They sometimes seem driven to seek experiences that produce strong feelings and sensations.
Based on what we know about teenagers’ responses to emotions, it is important for educators to develop activities that stimulate the “happy” chemicals in their brains. Dopamine, for example, is associated with feelings of euphoria, bliss, motivation, and concentration. Endorphins, structurally similar to morphine, are considered natural painkillers because they help minimize discomfort. They can also help bring about feelings of euphoria and general well-being. Oxytocin is known as the hormone that promotes feelings of love, bonding and well-being and Serotonin helps regulate mood and social behavior, appetite and digestion, sleep and memory. These are all chemicals that we can create in our bodies through physical activity, social interaction and successful experiences.
In my experience as a social worker, I have seen young people once viewed as criminals and bullies, as well as extremely shy or repressed personalities shine once given an opportunity to authentically feel success. Adolescents look for emotional satisfaction, and whether we provide it for them or not they will seek an outlet for their feelings. These can take a healthier productive form, such as participating in Bnei Akiva, NCSY or other youth groups as well as organized sports like basketball, volleyball and so on. Others may unfortunately turn to less positive outlets. Either way, young people seek ways to manage their emotions.
We sometimes find ourselves disappointed in young people seeming disengaged or “not listening” during an activity we are providing. Maybe we even have to track them down later to collect work in the hallway. I often find myself wondering why these students even come to class if they have no intention in taking an active role in the lesson. In the end, however, adolescents themselves probably can’t even answer this question, and it seems that our best opportunities for meaningful education are actually when we are not formally trying. It’s the experience we are providing that surrounds the learning activity that makes students feel supported, stimulated, safe or engaged. Whether it’s during class, youth programs or basketball, It’s the subliminal messages we pass to our students that can have an incredible impact. It’s the feelings they have while taking part and the feelings they walk away with.
A clear example is from a recent experience I had with youth leaders. At a meeting with a group of students working on an upcoming activity, one of the leaders present came up with great idea for an activity that had a wonderful message. I was a little surprised, but also very impressed. A few days later I attended a shabbaton with that same young leader. When the kids split up into groups, that same student approached me to show me an official looking printout that showed the next activity that was planned. He laughed and said, “look familiar?” I realized at that point that the idea he had seemingly pulled out of his sleeve the other day was not his own, but rather was sent to him in order to prepare for the shabbaton. He thought it was so amusing that he possibly “cheated” the system by reusing someone else’s activity. I also found it funny, but not for the same reasons he did. The reality was that this student, who finds school to be merely a means to an end, would rather be playing basketball all day, and who generally puts on a front that he doesn’t take things seriously, just revealed to me that he had prepared for this shabbaton in depth several days in advance. He actually took something seriously even when it required an extra step from him. For this he earned no grades and no individual glory. Working on a shabbaton was something he simply enjoyed doing and was something that made him feel good.
The experience with this particular student leader is an example of the ways youth activities like shabbatons, sports, music, theatre and other challenging outlets can help stimulate young people’s creativity as well as provide opportunities for initiative and risk taking. It is important that parents and schools help teenagers take advantage of extracurriculars such as the ones I have mentioned, but it’s also equally important that we as educators learn from activities that promote student success outside of the classroom when planning our curriculum.
The more we can do to help our students feel the positive emotions and real human connections that come from authentic accomplishment, the more we will be able to help all of them find success.
