Rabbi Seth Grauer
Rosh Yeshiva & Head of School

I was recently at a Yeshivat Har Etzion (Gush) rabbinic and leadership conference in which I heard Moishe Bane, the President of the OU, ask the question: “What do 10-year-olds hang up in their bedrooms and place on their shelves?” It was a great question and really forced me to think about my own children and what they have on their walls and in their rooms. Moishe was responding to a question about religious growth amongst adolescents and trying to make the point that far too many kids’ bedrooms are filled with sports stars, musicians, actors and fancy cars without balancing those with sefarim on their shelves and Judaica on their walls.

The comment really struck a chord with me. I have been thinking about it and I believe that there is a beautiful message about the holiday of Pesach inherent within this question.

We often hear from adolescents, teens, emerging adults and even many adults that if there were less mitzvoth, less obligations, if halacha was easier, we would be more diligent and committed in our observance. Students always ask, “Why can’t we just learn Torah lishma?” “Why do we need tests and assessments?” Many question the need for obligations around tefillah; “Why can’t we simply doven when we want to and say whatever comes to mind?” “Why is tefillah so rigid?”

In Rabbi Jonathan Sacks’ work, Letters to the Next Generation, he points out that if you would rank the Shelosh Regalim from hardest to easiest in terms of levels of observance we would certainly place Pesach first. Pesach is filled with incredible amounts of laws associated with chametz, matza, the mitzvoth associated with the sedarim, the shiurim and measurements of everything and none of this includes the immense preparations involved even before the holiday has even begun. Succoth is a clear second with complicated laws around building and sitting in a succah and assembling our four minim. Shavuoth would be a distant third. Are there any mitzvoth associated with Shavuoth that are difficult, complicated or hard?!

Yet based on the theory we suggested above, Shavuoth should be the most widely observed, followed by Succoth with Pesach coming in at a distant third and we of course know that isn’t the case. The Pesach Seder remains by far the most widely observed Jewish ritual among Jews today despite the myriad of details associated with it. According to a 2013 Pew Research Center study of American Jews, 70 percent said they participated in a Seder in the previous year in contrast to the 23 percent who reported attending religious services of any kind at least once a month. In Israel, participation is even higher with 97 percent of Israeli Jews saying they either host or participate in a Seder. This data is remarkable in that it includes the plurality of Israeli Jews that identify as “completely secular.”

There are many reasons that could be suggested, but perhaps part of the story has to do precisely with the number of mitzvoth and details associated with the chag.

I mentioned above one comment from Rabbi Sacks, I also have heard Rabbi Sacks say that there is no word for “rights” within Biblical Hebrew. The closest word we can find is “zechuyot” which perhaps today in Israel we refer to as certain “rights”, but in reality; this would be more closely defined as merits. There is of course nothing like the bill of rights within yahadut and within halacha. Instead, we have mitzvoth – commandments and responsibilities that are incumbent upon us. It is these mitzvoth that we live by and it is these mitzvoth that guide us and help us to live lives of fulfillment, purpose and success. It is also these mitzvoth that help us to live lives of happiness.

Hashem understands that for mitzvoth to be successful and to fulfill their purpose, they need to be obligatory and we need to embrace them not as options and not as recommendations or suggestions, but as part of living a life of responsibility. There is of course a place for spontaneous prayer within halacha, but at core, for tefillah to be effective it needs to be rigid. Similarly in schools, there is of course a place for limud hatorah lishmah, but for school to be effective, tests, assessments and obligations are needed.

Getting back to where we started, in order for tefillah, Talmud Torah and mitzvoth in general to be effective in accomplishing their goals, we must be open towards embracing them and staying committed towards them. This can only come from an early childhood rooted in a relationship with Hashem in which G-d is part of everything we do. To accomplish this goal, a true partnership is required between parents, schools and shuls. Each piece plays an incredibly essential role. Parents need to make sure that Hashem is present in their children’s rooms, their house and of course at their seder. Shuls need to provide wonderful places for families to learn and pray and schools need to help inspire and educate our children. The entire sederexperience is rooted in vehigadata levincha, because the Torah understands that we must teach our children about the incredible story that is the Jewish people and through these experiences our children will grow up to teach their children for generations to come.

Wishing you all a Chag Kasher VeSameach.