By: Rabbi Seth Grauer

Our high school years are supposed to be predictable. I was recently speaking to my daughter, Yonina, who is returning from Israel iy”H tomorrow, and she mentioned to me that for the first time in her life, she doesn’t really have any idea what the next few years of her life are going to exactly look like. It was a very simple yet in many ways profound comment because we often take for granted our sheltered elementary, middle and high school years.

We start at Netivot, Eitz Chaim, Or HaEmet or perhaps a different elementary school. If we are lucky and privileged, we spend our high school years at either Ulpana or Or Chaim and to some extent we know what to expect. This provides us with a measure of comfort, safety, security and predictability that so many of us crave and love.

Ein Simcha Ke’Hatarat Hasefeikot – the greatest joy exists when we aren’t in doubt.

But then all of a sudden, we graduate high school. Many of you will be blessed with the opportunity to spend a year of Torah learning and growth in Israel and then is when the real changes really begin. What do the next few years have in store for you? What is Hakadosh Baruch Hu’s plan? Will we recognize mazel when it hits us to be able to maximize and take advantage of that mazel to the greatest extent possible?

A friend of mine recently told me that his parents made aliyah from the UK last year. Shortly after the initial euphoria, his father, a well-respected professor of medicine, had something similar to a nervous breakdown – confusion, dizziness, anxiety and even depression. His neurologist said that with the trauma of the massive change he had just experienced – living for 50 years in the same house with the same language, routine, community, and suddenly, overnight, having everything familiar and comfortable pulled out from under his feet – he simply couldn’t handle it. Baruch Hashem, he eventually stabilized and got back to his former self, but it was very scary.

This might sound a bit extreme, but change impacts all of us in different ways.

You, our graduates, might be better prepared for changes that are to come because these last few years of high school have been anything but normal. The last three years of COVID have taught us so many lessons – not least of which is that we need to be able to adapt to changing circumstances, demonstrate resiliency and find ways to be better prepared for whatever Hakadosh Baruch Hu throws our way.

Rav Shaul Yisraeli zt”l – whose picture now hangs in the halls of Or Chaim – in a beautiful address on Yom Yerushalayim in 1988, just seven years before he passed away – said something very meaningful that I recently saw and I have been thinking a lot about.

הַכָּתוּב אוֹמֵר בְּיַחַס לַעֲבוֹדַת ה’ שֶׁהִיא צְרִיכָה לִהְיוֹת בְּחִינַת “גִּילוּ בִּרְעָדָה” (תְּהִלִּים ב, יא), וְחָזָ”ל דּוֹרְשִׁים עַל זֶה (בְּרָכוֹת ל, ב): שֶׁבַּמָּקוֹם גִּלָּה שָׁם תִּהְיֶה הָרְעָדָה, וּבִמְקוֹם הָרְעָדָה שָׁם תִּהְיֶה הַגִּילָה.

The pasuk in Tehillim tells us that our Avodat Hashem needs to be גִּילוּ בִּרְעָדָה, rejoicing when there is trembling. Chazal explain that where there is rejoicing there is also trembling, and in a place of trembling there will also be rejoicing.

Rav Yisraeli continues, one more line I would like to read:

לַאֲמִתּוֹ שֶׁל דָּבָר, כָּל שִׂמְחָה יִשְׂרְאֵלִית, כָּל חַג יִשְׂרְאֵלִי, כָּל גִּילָה יְהוּדִית, הִיא בְּהֶכְרֵחַ מְלַוֶּה עִם הַמֻּשָּׂג שֶׁל רְעָדָה.

Every simcha, every chag, every Jewish expression of happiness, is automatically accompanied by trembling.

Rav Yisraeli’s focus is, of course, on Yom Yerushalayim and the simcha the Jewish people should be experiencing all the while recognizing the uncertainty that lie ahead – but I think we can use the same structure in a beautiful way when thinking about so many transitions in our lives – including, of course, graduation.

Change is inevitable. How can we soften the impact and demonstrate greater resiliency? Perhaps one key is to stick to the truths we know are right.

Daily mitzvot which are commandments from Hashem are also rooted in a comforting and eternal reality and help to keep us grounded and stable. Our parsha this week even hints at this.

Parshat Beha’alotcha discusses the mitzvah of Pesach Sheini – in many ways the ultimate second chance. Gd gives us an opportunity to make up for a missed Korban Pesach. Isn’t it strange that we aren’t given a second chance to observe Rosh Hashana, Yom Kippur, Sukkot or a variety of other mitzvot – yet – along comes Pesach and Hakadosh Baruch Hu gives us a second chance – הִזְדַּמְּנוּת שְׁנִיָּה.
There are lots of answers that could be given – but maybe it is because Pesach represents the birth and creation of our nation – the belonging to the Jewish people and for that – everyone needs a second chance. If a Jew wasn’t able to participate in the Korban Pesach the first time around – it is so important that she or he feel part of our nation and part of our commandments that we will give them a second shot at it.

Let’s also remember that perhaps Hakadosh Baruch Hu gives a second chance by Pesach Sheini simply because the people asked.

Think about it while we are reading the parsha this week – the Jewish people come to Moshe and Aharon and they say: “Lama Nigara” – why should we be deprived from fulfilling this amazing mitzvah? We too want to participate. This language of Lama Nigara is the same language chosen by the incredibly inspiring Bnot Tzelofchad who say “Lama Yigara” (Bamidbar 27:4) – when all they want is a piece of Israel to call their own. They also wanted to be part of Klal Yisrael with a piece of land and of course we know – Hakadosh Baruch Hu gave it to them.

In both cases – Hakadosh Baruch Hu recognized their deep desire and innate longing to fulfill these mitzvot and be part of Am Yisrael and Eretz Yisrael and it was that desire that carried the day. They saw these mitzvot not just as an opportunity and certainly not only as an obligation, but instead they saw these mitzvot as a privilege and as a way of life worth fighting for.

Just over 20 years ago, Rabbi Dr. Jonathan Sacks zt”l wrote a short book as a wedding gift for his son, within which he asks the question – why am I a Jew? In classic Rabbi Sacks fashion and I am telling you – he would be so upset that I am only reading one sentence here, because his paragraphs are so rich and pregnant with meaning – but in one of my favourite lines he says:

I am a Jew because, being a child of my people, I have heard the call to add my chapter to its unfinished story. I am a stage on its journey, a connecting link between the generations. The dreams and hopes of my ancestors live on in me and I am the guardian of their trust, now and for the future.

To our dear graduates בּוֹגְרוֹת וּבוֹגְרִים יְקָרִים וַאֲהוּבִים – this is you! You are the child of your parents and grandparents. You are the link and the guardian of their trust. You are their future.

Much change will begin to happen in your life as you exit those doors back there – but not everything should change. Hold onto mitzvot observance and don’t ever let go. Even try and improve upon them. The Jews in the desert – men and women alike – both in terms of Pesach Sheini and with the Bnot Tzelofchad – they craved the opportunity to fulfill mitzvot and they fought for them. Mitzvot bind our nation and keep us strong. Mitzvot are the anchor in turbulent times that keep us bound within our community. Mitzvot keep us grounded and true to ourselves and our upbringing.

In many ways, this is one of the reasons that spending time learning in Israel after graduation is so important. There are, of course, no guarantees in life, but that time helps often you to become guardians of your families’ Torah trust. ֵאֵין תּוֹרָה כְּתוֹרַת אֶרֶץ יִשְׂרָאֵל.

We are deeply proud of all our graduates irrespective of your plans for next year. But to those of you not planning on going – we are rooting for you and you can succeed. But recognize that holding deer to your trust might be a bit harder so you have to be even more committed to this goal.

You are all graduating from Or Chaim or Ulpana – and we are so much more than a school! You have the tools needed.

As we began to exit from COVID this year, we spent much time emphasizing the observance of mitzvot. This was not stam. This was very calculated and intentional. COVID separated us from our synagogues, schools and shabbatonim and we needed to do something big to begin to repair some of the spiritual damage.

We have only just begun in this regard. We brought Bnei Akiva of Toronto back with a roar because you – our students – needed the positive pro-social growth-oriented programs that Bnei Akiva brings each week.

Bringing that back to today, graduation should indeed be a time of joy and trembling. גִּלּוּ בִּרְעָדָה!

The joy should be real. You deserve it. You have worked really hard. And you have accomplished an incredible amount. I would love to do a list of shout outs – like the UO Shabbaton – but they would go on way too long – and I don’t want you to miss the rides later tonight. The joy should be meaningful and your parents, grandparents and all guests should be unbelievably proud of you.
But the joy should be mixed with trembling as well. The trembling should also be real.

The Ramban writes that Bnei Yisrael’s travel schedule was random and almost illogical. The Jewish people would at times reach a tough spot in the desert in which they would want to leave immediately, but the Ananei Hakavod kept them there. Or vice-versa: they would get to a beautiful area and want to set up camp and stay only to see the cloud move on and lead them forward. Rav Eliyahu Dessler writes in Michtav MeEliyahu that Hashem wanted to teach the Jewish people that life is not simple. The Torah is teaching us – as we say in Hebrew – !הַחַיִּים הֵם לֹא פִּיקְנִיק

The trembling of today should be because the next few years will be filled with uncertainties – but remember that even while your feet are מֻצָּבוֹת אַרְצָה – try and stay רֹאשָׁן בַּשָּׁמַיִם, looking up towards the Ananei Hakavod to Hakadosh Baruch Hu for help, guidance and direction. We wish we were in the midbar, watching the Ananei Hakavod from this week’s parsha move and stop – belief in Hashem would have been simple. Instead, it is much harder for us to see Hashem’s presence in our lives, but it is there.

Being focused on mitzvot is of course a commandment from Hashem, but will also help keep you stable in the winds of change. Please remember that you are being called upon to add your chapter and to be the link between generations. The dreams and hopes of your ancestors live on in you and you are the guardians of their trust.

צְאוּ לְשָׁלוֹם, חָזְרוּ לְשָׁלוֹם וָהּ’ יְבָרֵךְ אוֹתְכֶם בְּכָל מַעֲשֵׂי יְדֵיכֶם. As you journey on, hold that trust dear and close to your heart and don’t ever let it go. We are so very proud of each and every one of you.

ה’ יִשְׁמֹר צֵאתְכֶם וּבוֹאֲכֶם מֵעַתָּה וְעַד עוֹלָם.

Mazel Tov to you all!