1. What have you noticed as some mental health challenges that our students are facing in schools today? How are you transitioning from challenges last year online and hybrid to today’s challenges?

AE:  Even before the world turned upside down teenagers were having their own challenges. A lot of times hormones and lack of brain development is the reason why we think teenagers act the way they do. High school students are trying to find the balance between discovering their autonomy while still living under their parents’ roof. This results in pushing the boundaries, trying new experiences and an overall internal battle. Now add the pressure of social media, world events and the uncertainty of our global state there is no wonder mental health issues like anxiety, depression and addiction are more prevalent.

Being online has definitely brought forth more challenges. Meeting with students online meant sacrificing the undetectable power of face-to-face interactions. However, it forced me to create more substantial rapport with students to keep that connection. It meant spending sessions with students speaking about sports, television or whatever was going on in cultural events. This year has proven to be a breath of fresh air, even with the masks, having the in-person connection has made a world of a difference in the work I am able to achieve.

TR: Students in high school have always spent these years trying to process the childhood experiences and sense of self they have developed until this point, and to use this understanding of themselves to shape who they envision themselves to be in the future. They try to figure out the answers to both “Who am I?” and “Who am I becoming?”. Add in the intense hormones of adolescence, the ever changing social context of high school relationships, and the stress of the adults around them expecting them to mature and achieve at a certain level, anxiety and depression tend to be commonplace among our students. The fact that all of this now occurs online as well only amplifies these issues, and what COVID has done is forced the vast majority of this interaction into the online world and into the interpersonal pressure cooker that is home-life during quarantine. 

2. This year we have been working hard to bridge the gap between the online school and the struggles of isolation and our new reality of in school learning. It isn’t easy, but we are slowly acclimating back to being around other people while navigating periods of being back online. The good news is that the hard-earned skills our students have learned to deal with being online and in isolation are generalizable. The new year has come with its own struggles, but if we want to know if we can overcome the new obstacles, just look at the previous ones. Look how far we have come, how much we have achieved. we survived that, we can certainly survive this.  

What do you do outside of work that helps you maintain a healthy, well-balanced life? What tips would you give for others trying to find the balance between work/school and personal life?

AE: When it comes to finding that work/life balance it can get very tricky especially in the past couple years when our physical homes became both home and work. The most important thing to remember is that this balance, which can also be perceived as self-care, does not have to be this overtop concept that we make it out as. The main goal of finding that balance is that you feel re-energized. Personally, the commute back to my home life has been incredibly helpful for me. The time spent in the car allows me to decompress from the day and have a physical barrier between work and home. The commute is sometimes spent listening to a podcast, listening to music or even talking out the day I just had either to myself or a trusted person. Finding this balance is often easier said than done especially if there is no clear boundary between the two. However, being able to physically close your computer or leave your workspace can be very cathartic. By doing so you are telling yourselves and others that you are leaving one aspect of your life to enter another one.

TR: I really want to say that I exercise, eat well, and make sure I sleep well. I’d love to tell you that I have solid boundaries. These are the foundations of healthy, well-balanced living. But the truth is, I haven’t been to a gym in about 3 years, I am a chronic insomniac, and have an undying love of coffee, cheese and chocolate. However, what I have learned, especially these last couple of years, is that life is a journey and very few people can live it perfectly. Often times, we set unrealistic expectations on ourselves and we emotionally berate ourselves for not achieving them. 

3. Sometimes the healthiest and most helpful thing to do is to forgive yourself for not meeting those expectations and allow yourself to be human. It doesn’t mean you stop striving to improve. When feasible I go on walks or go to bed early, and when I do I feel great about it. But when I can’t, when I’m having a rough day that’s ok too. You have to own it sometimes, especially if these decisions impact others, but it’s important to remember you’re still human. Communicate with those you love, let them know where you’re at, and forgive them when they have these moments as well. 

What made you decide to become a social worker? Did anything at BAS contribute to your decision to join this profession?

AE: My lightbulb moment came a couple years after my undergrad. I always knew I wanted to work with people and help them in some capacity however it took time to get there. There were some potential detours but once I began my masters everything clicked. For the first time I felt sure in what I was doing and could even envision myself enjoying working as a future social worker.

The time I spent at BAS gave me the foundation for the path of social work. At Ulpana I cultivated the skills that I will eventually use on a daily basis as part of my career. Through the teachers and administration, I learned the value of looking at people from a holistic approach. As a student I had the opportunity to interact with different students, explore the desire to help other people and I gained more confidence in who I ultimately could be. Without the groundwork of BAS, I am not sure I’d find my passion the way I did.

TR: Throughout my time at BAS I learned a lot about what it means to be a Jew in the world. What kept coming back to me, the idea that has always stuck with me, is the concept of “oro shel olam”, being a light unto the world. This isn’t a matter of ego but rather a responsibility. This also means that when you see something that needs doing, people that need help and support, you need to step up because it’s the right thing to do. In this framework I was always taught that we have the responsibility to bring people together; to foster understanding and empathy among all peoples. 

This is something I watched my teachers at BAS model every day in their lessons and the way they dealt with their students. I looked up to many of my teachers and strove to emulate them. They caused me to take my first steps into youth work as a teenager still in high school, they are what drove me to draft in the IDF, and they are what have continued to guide me through front-line mental health and crisis work for the last decade. 

4. What advice would you give to parents whose children are struggling with social isolation during the pandemic?

AE: We will look back at the years from 2020-2022 as beyond trying times. Each one of us have gone and are going through the same storm but on different boats and we see this even within individual families. We know that children have suffered with the lack of social interactions and it has been a point of contention within the many pandemic mandates. At the same time parents themselves have also been struggling with the social isolation that we have seen during the past two years. It is in the parents DNA to “fix” their children’s social isolation but sometimes that cannot be done. When this happens, let your children know that you are also having a hard time, that you are also feeling lonely. It is easy for children to internalize their isolation as something that is wrong with them. Being able to normalize their feelings and show them your vulnerability can go a long way to help your relationship. Their situation might not change right away but they will know that they are not alone in such a detaching time.

TR: Firstly, be kind to yourselves and your children. Sometimes we are so focused on our children and their struggles that we forget to take care of ourselves. When we burn out, we lose the ability to support others as well. Also, understand that the frustration and distress you are all feeling is valid and you are allowed to be upset about that.

With that being said, one of the most crucial elements to human perception of a difficult situation is our own sense of control. When we feel like we can do something to help ourselves, or that the situation is manageable, our perception of it changes. It might still be frustrating, but we tend to be able to deal with the situation. Similarly, when we feel out of control, helpless or hopeless in situations we become less resilient and less able to handle the situation, even for a short period of time. 

Help your children learn to focus on the positives. Concentrate on what they can do instead of mourning the loss of what they can’t do. They can’t visit their friend at home, but they can meet outside. Focus on new and creative ways to facilitate interaction, which can help rekindle that special feeling in their relationships and give purpose and meaning to those interactions. 

5. What are the highlights of your job? What makes you enjoy coming to work every day?

AE: My first placement for my master’s program was in an elementary school and within a few weeks I knew I wanted to do school social work. One of the many highlights of this job is the relationships I have been fortunate to form with so many of the students. This year especially I have met with more students which has allowed me to see the strength and resilience of so many of our students. Then there are moments when you can truly help students to see their own potential and it propels you to keep on doing what you are doing. Hearing the words “I couldn’t have done this without you” does not get old! The beauty of working in a smaller setting is being able to know everyone in the school and saying hello to each student by name when walking down the hall.

What keeps me coming back every day is of course the students but also the encouragement you get from teachers and staff. Social work is not a profession that you do on your own. It takes a village to raise a child and that village consists of so many different professions working together for the betterment of that child. Ulpana has created that environment in which you do not need to handle everything on your own. Being the only social worker at Ulpana can be isolating at times but knowing that it does not need to be only on my shoulders allows me to produce the best work I can.

TR: There are so many wonderful aspects of being a School Social Worker, especially in the community I grew up in that means so much to me. Each student is their own tiny universe, and each one has such a unique perspective on life and living as a person and as a Jew. There isn’t a single person I can’t learn something new from and there is such a great feeling of getting to be part of that..  So many of our students spend their time feeling so alone and misunderstood. Sometimes I can help, sometimes I can’t, but if I can enable a single student to feel seen, accepted and understood for a short amount of time it is worth it. Every day is different as well, and I love the variability of it all. Sometimes I can walk into work ready to deal with a crisis, and the next I’ll spend playing chess and chatting with students about life and growth. I never know what I’m going to get when I walk in those doors, but I always know what I do matters to someone. 

BAS has also given me a wonderful opportunity to facilitate our Wellness curriculum with our 9th and 10th grade classes. There are so many conversations and topics that many of us wish could be covered with our adolescents before they come up or become a problem. We talk about relationships, communication, mental health, self care, substance use, negative influences, the struggles of growing up, understanding our values and setting goals, and so much more. It’s been so incredible teaching the class these past two years and I’m looking forward to continuing it and expanding it in the future.